Jesus Help

Why is it so hard to ask for help?

Then a leader of the local synagogue, whose name was Jairus, arrived. When he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet, pleading fervently with him. “My little daughter is dying,” he said. “Please come and lay your hands on her; heal her so she can live.”

I wonder if asking for help is so hard because of a “me” reason or a “you” reason - whether it’s difficult to put down the ego and admit to wanting or needing help, or whether you don’t want to burden the other person.

If it’s an ego thing - why is there this idea that we have to do everything on our own, that it’s a weakness to need help? Is the opposite of “strong and independent” simply “weak and dependent”? I guess at the end of the day it’s (again) about balance - to know how to be self-sufficient without being stubborn about having to do it all on your own. Knowing how to utilize your resources is such an important skill and one that will take you farther in life.

As for not wanting to burden the other person, I always ask myself this - would I feel burdened if my friend asked me for help? Usually the answer would be no. The other thing is by doing this you are taking away the other person’s autonomy - you asking doesn’t mean they have to say yes. I know I know, some will say that the other person might feel bad for saying no, but I think their inability to only take on things they have the capacity to and want to is on them and not on you. I’m a strong proponent of giving them the option to say yes or no.

With a lot of practice this year, I’ve found it easier to ask for help. If the thing I’m asking has slightly more weight, I will preface it by reminding the other party that it’s okay to say no. But I choose to reach out, to put down my ego, to give my friends a choice.

What if your beliefs aren’t in line with the rest of society?

She had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind him through the crowd and touched his robe.

And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.

According to the law, she was unclean and would have to declare this in public. Anyone who touched her would also became unclean, and she was prohibited from entering the temple. But she went out in the crowds without declaring it, so she could get close to Jesus. But not only did He not become unclean, she was rewarded for believing and was healed by her faith.

What do you do when living in line with your beliefs or your worldview goes against what society dictates? Is it always right to follow societal standards even if you know they will limit you? Is conforming a way of respecting your fellow humans who live by these rules, or is it blindly following the crowd?

Societal norms are so different depending on where you are, and so many of them contradict each other, so there can’t possibly be one right way to live. You could of course choose to abandon society and go live in the woods, but if you choose to live within societal constructs, you will to some extent have to participate. But just because everyone else wants something doesn’t mean you have to want it, but it also doesn’t give you the right to say they are wrong or to condemn their choices. For example in this capitalistic society, many choose to chase material wealth and pride themselves on it as a status symbol. If you find joy in that, great. But just because I participate in this society does not mean that I also have to live this way.

I think my encouragement to you (and also to myself) would be to question everything instead of blindly following. To respect your fellow humans but also make choices to live a life that feels right for you.

Mistakes; loss and entitlement

Then the frightened woman, trembling at the realization of what had happened to her, came and fell to her knees in front of him and told him what she had done.

Why is it so hard to own up to mistakes? For me I think it’s two-fold. Admitting to being wrong hurts your pride and makes you feel small. But at the same time what I find hardest to deal with is the disappointment in myself that I feel when I have (be it knowingly or accidentally) made a mistake and admitting to it means having to feel the weight of this disappointment. But we are all human, we all stumble, and I’m learning to extend the grace I would offer to a friend in times like these, to myself as well. We can’t be perfect, all we can do is to strive to learn from our mistakes, and to be better tomorrow than we are today.

Was the woman worried that if she admitted to what she had done, that there would be consequences, that maybe she would be punished, or that she would have the healing taken away from her? Why do we hold on so tightly to what we have? Is it better to never have had or to have had and lost?

I think this year I have learnt that change really is the only constant in life, and that there are seasons for everything. Things and people will come and go, and we can’t hold on too tightly to what we have or how we want our life to play out. Be grateful for what you have, but know that it’s also not yours to keep. If it’s time to say goodbye, say thank you for having had the privilege to hold to it for a little while, and then let it go. Maybe this is just how life works.

I think you have to take the good with the bad, the joy with the pain. To fully experience humanity means embracing both sides of the coin. No one said it was supposed to be easy, and there are never any promises of happily ever after - such is the absurdity of life. There’s no point fighting it and so you might as well embrace it.

Meaning and Hope: How do you find meaning in life? How does hope come into play?

How do you find meaning in life? This one I absolutely have no answer to. What is the point of life, when no matter what you do and what you have accomplished in this world, life ends.

There’s this Chinese word "盼望" - it loosely translates into hope but with an added component of longing. How important is hope, when the outcome is yet to be seen or materialized? Is the opposite of hope simply despair, and what lies in between? Is hope essential for life to have meaning?

Yes there could be a Heaven, that you might be allowed to enter if you’ve been good in this life. Yes Christ can come again and everything will be good again. But we don’t know any of these for certain - it’s possible, but it’s not guaranteed. Are we just supposed to use “faith” to fill in the void beyond “it’s possible”? Perhaps another approach could be to just accept that we can never know, to do what we can with what we do know and what we have within this life, and to experience all the joys and wonder, pain and suffering as just part of the human existence. What happens after, I leave in the hands of God.

Maybe we don’t know everything

While he was still speaking to her, messengers arrived from the home of Jairus, the leader of the synagogue. They told him, “Your daughter is dead. There’s no use troubling the Teacher now.” But Jesus overheard them and said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.”

Death is the end of life, but is it really? Could there be something else beyond what we know of life and death? In this day and age, we know so much about how the world works, but we can never know everything. Could it be that the reason why we think some things aren’t plausible, is because we don’t have all the information?

At the beginning of a composition, Bach would write JJ, Jesu Juva, Latin for “Jesus help”.

At the end of his compositions, Bach would write SDG, short for a Latin phrase Soli Deo Gloria, “Glory to God Alone.” His music was crafted for the glory of God, not for himself or anyone else.

So with that said if you’re out there God, if you’re out there Jesus, I leave it in your hands. JH.