Picking Sides; Values & Forgiveness
The Fall of Jericho (Joshua 5:13-15)
13 Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?”
14 “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?”
15 The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.
Why aren’t you on my side?
“Are you for us or for our enemies?”
It’s a common occurrence - picking sides. It happens in friendships, in relationships, in life. We often expect people close to us to stand on our sides in times of discourse. But do they do this because your values are actually aligned (the two of you share the same values and opinions and your actions reflect said opinions), or out of obligation?
- Have you ever sided with someone dear to you even though you didn’t agree?
- When you ask someone to side with you - do you first stop to think about whether your actions are in line with your values and the person you want to be?
Consistency is the goal here - in your values, thoughts, words and actions. Let’s strive to consistently live out the values that we want to embody.
The courage to be different
The instructions from God to the Israelites were to march around the city and wait seven days. They listened, even though many of them must have known more proven military strategies. They believed and trusted in what they believed in.
Society encourages a lot of “same-ness” - we want to be just like the people who seem to have it all. We buy the products celebrities endorse because we want to be like them, etc.
To be different is so much harder than to be the same - it’s like trying to to walk up an escalator that’s going down. We are not talking about being stubborn and refusing to consider other opinions, but about knowing what you believe in and standing up for that. Holding an opinion that challenges societal norms requires so much more intentional effort. Other people may not understand - they may even laugh at you, mock you for “not knowing better”. But it is in times like these where you are able to realize the strength of the foundations you have built your principles upon.
Why is it so hard to forgive?
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14-15)
Forgiveness is associated with attributes of a strong person. We are told to forgive, to rise above, to choose peace. Why is it so hard? And do you actually mean it or do you still hold a grudge?
Often we feel like they have to be “deserving” of that forgiveness - be it by way of an explanation, understanding why they behaved that way, etc. We find it easier to forgive when we receive an explanation and an apology and a vow to never do it again. There’s this feeling that they have to “earn” the forgiveness, that it can’t be given out so easily.
But what if there is no reasonable explanation - does that preclude forgiveness? Should forgiveness be a conditional thing? Can you forgive without knowing why they hurt you? Can you forgive them knowing they hurt you on purpose? Can you forgive without an apology?
Me saying “I forgive you” is not letting go, it is not forgetting. It means that I have come to terms with the thing you did/ said and the hurt and pain you have caused. It means I no longer hold you accountable and that the scars are mine to bear. It means I will no longer hold it against you, and that I will not use it against you in the future. But forgiving you doesn’t mean that it never happened. Evaluating the role you are given in my life moving forward is a separate matter - I can forgive you but no longer want you in my life.
Member discussion